i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize