I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
