Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
