Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
