Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
