and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
