For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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