I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
