perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
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I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
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The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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