I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
