Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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