dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I am spending my child support on dildos
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
