Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
