u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
