Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
