dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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