all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
