You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
they need to just BURY HIM!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
