It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
