Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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