Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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