SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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