You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
