that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
