i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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