Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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