I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize