I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just pee around me
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
