I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
