I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
