So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
