What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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