i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
