Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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