I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
