How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
