Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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