dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
