Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
