im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
