White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
