Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
handjob tips. give me some.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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