first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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