She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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