i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
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The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
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How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.