Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.

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(512): She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe. http://tfl.nu/piri

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(732): View more from New Jersey

my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.

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(732): my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum. http://tfl.nu/6d6p

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(406): View more from Montana

my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute

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(406): my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute http://tfl.nu/00es

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?

(305): View more from Florida

Its worth a shot.

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(918): Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits? (305): Its worth a shot. http://tfl.nu/0784

Replies (9) Good night (1152) Bad night (2616)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

when did we get a doorman?

(203): View more from Connecticut

we were also in the wrong building...

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(203): yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman. (508): when did we get a doorman? (203): we were also in the wrong building... http://tfl.nu/c2ke

Replies (15) Good night (6766) Bad night (882)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life

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(774): So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life http://tfl.nu/2cua

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(303): View more from Colorado

Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...

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(303): Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked... http://tfl.nu/a2s8

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(707): View more from California

He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".

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(707): He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute". http://tfl.nu/z3mu

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(805): View more from California

I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.

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(805): I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form. http://tfl.nu/c7k9

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(319): View more from Iowa

I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.

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(319): I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie. http://tfl.nu/hxcl

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(281): View more from Texas

I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.

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(281): I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home. http://tfl.nu/pc90

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(601): View more from Mississippi

there are ass prints on the hood of my car.

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(601): there are ass prints on the hood of my car. http://tfl.nu/hwv7

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(501): View more from Arkansas

If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...

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(501): If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises... http://tfl.nu/i052

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(785): View more from Kansas

My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real

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(785): My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real http://tfl.nu/x4mj

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(914): View more from New York

She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.

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(914): She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch. http://tfl.nu/fvbm

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