Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings

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  (901): oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass (901): fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings http://tfl.nu/b0u6
  Replies (118) Good night (4482) Bad night (1417)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.

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  (256): Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference. http://tfl.nu/q39i
  Replies (33) Good night (3890) Bad night (1358)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.

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  (432): Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite. http://tfl.nu/cdg2
  Replies (49) Good night (7194) Bad night (1727)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...

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  (320): Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting... http://tfl.nu/4ynh
  Replies (23) Good night (2015) Bad night (5398)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.

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  (716): You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy. http://tfl.nu/mzkt
  Replies (9) Good night (3168) Bad night (1066)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song

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  (918): 3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song http://tfl.nu/o6l8
  Replies (6) Good night (2586) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.

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  (402): Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped. http://tfl.nu/qxzn
  Replies (7) Good night (3256) Bad night (2240)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree

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  (215): i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree http://tfl.nu/vm1y
  Replies (2) Good night (1577) Bad night (924)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face

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  (773): No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face http://tfl.nu/5tso
  Replies (4) Good night (649) Bad night (1617)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.

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  (716): Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day. http://tfl.nu/hsum
  Replies (4) Good night (1225) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?

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  (571): Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today? http://tfl.nu/1p94
  Replies (3) Good night (1391) Bad night (574)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  i'll probably be on drugs forewarning

  (503): View more from Oregon

  forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you

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  (541): i'll probably be on drugs forewarning (503): forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you http://tfl.nu/wpmw
  Replies (1) Good night (1299) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment

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  (303): that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment http://tfl.nu/t2of
  Replies (3) Good night (595) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes

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  (315): turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes http://tfl.nu/o917
  Replies (1) Good night (851) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities

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  (519): I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities http://tfl.nu/fsvr
  Replies (0) Good night (435) Bad night (243)

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