I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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