that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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