I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
