I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Alive.
So much puke
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
