Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
