Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
