We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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