Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize