8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
