Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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