Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
