Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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