I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
