Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Less talking, more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize