Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
