I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
