I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
babies were throwing up all over the place
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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