he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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