I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
