He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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